


sunflower still grows at night

by apricotaeris



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Genderfluid Uzumaki Naruto, Human Trafficking, Imagine Naruto's henge is solid, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Innapropriate use of Henge no Jutsu, Naruto as bait, Other, Pining Hatake Kakashi, as we all do, pining uzumaki naruto, please let me know if i missed anything important, secrets and lies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23366038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apricotaeris/pseuds/apricotaeris
Summary: “I was nine the first time I transformed into a girl. I snuck into the library and found a book in the medical section so that I wouldn’t mess it up, and I bought a girl’s outfit from a shop close to my apartment, and I spent the day as a girl. And it made me happy. But, I like being a boy, too. It’s just, there are plenty of days where I don’t feel like a boy so much. Sometimes I walk around my apartment as a girl just so I can feel a little less wrong.”A strong hand slips into his, firm and reassuring. “So, sometimes I have a dumb little brother, and sometimes I have a dumb little sister.”Something warm shoots through him, affection and elation and something he can’t quite put his finger on, so he pulls her into a hug while stubbornly ignoring the tears pouring down his face.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi/Uzumaki Naruto, Hyuuga Hinata & Uzumaki Naruto, Hyuuga Neji & Uzumaki Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto & Everyone
Comments: 19
Kudos: 449





	sunflower still grows at night

**Author's Note:**

> So, recently I discovered two (2) other fics where Naruto uses the transformation jutsu to be a girl, but any similarities between those and this are coincidental! I think one of them was Teacup Tempest, but I can't remember the name of the other! If you haven't read them, they're really good!
> 
> Most of this was written in February of this year, not long after I started watching the series, and for the most part it was complete aside from the final scene, which I wrote while it was storming today!
> 
> I cannot thank Android_Enthusiast enough for proofreading and encouraging me to continue writing, even when I'm being annoying, so thank you!
> 
> update: i was rereading this and caught some typos, sorry if anybody thought i added to the story!
> 
> As always, I'm the last pair of eyes to check over my work, so all mistakes are mine!
> 
> Without further ado, please enjoy!
> 
> (To the genderfluid community, I hope I've done okay here? If any of this comes across with the wrong vibe, don't hesitate to tell me. I'm non-binary myself, but that in no way means I've portrayed Naruto as genderfluid in the right way.)

**_sunflower still grows at night_ **

“Sakura-chan, can I ask you something?”

His pink-haired teammate looks up from her book with a glare, but the second her eyes meet his, her expression falters. “Naruto? I know we’re not kids anymore, but I’ve rarely seen you look so serious.”

He nods, sitting beside her on the bench. “There’s something I want to tell you, but I don’t want you to be… weird about it.”

“You’re kind of like a brother to me, Naruto. I’m not going to freak out.” She makes a face at him (he calls it her Idea Face). “But why don’t we go somewhere you feel comfortable?”

A few minutes later, they’re seated in the middle of a meadow near the edge of the village--Naruto spends a lot of time here, and he’s only ever come across one other person, though he doesn’t think Hina-chan will ever tell anyone he spends his time here.

“Sakura, you know how there are boys who are girls, and girls who are boys? You’ve met some of them, right?”

She nods mildly, but he can see in her eyes that she’s just as confused as Ero-sennin when Naruto told _him_. “I think there’s a new term for that now, they’re called transgender...? And I actually assisted in a surgery to physically alter one boy’s body, because he was born a girl and nobody would listen to him.”

Naruto gives her what he hopes is an appreciative smile. “Well… I think I’m both.” He clears his throat, afraid to meet her eyes. “When I was little, I didn’t really understand gender and what it meant for people. I didn’t understand why the girls in the orphanage slept in a different wing than the boys. I didn’t really understand why there were two bathrooms. I didn’t think we were so much different on the inside, and that was supposed to be the thing that really mattered, right?” She’s quiet beside him, so he keeps going. “I was nine the first time I transformed into a girl. I snuck into the library and found a book in the medical section so that I wouldn’t mess it up, and I bought a girl’s outfit from a shop close to my apartment, and I spent the day as a girl. And it made me happy. But, I like being a boy, too. It’s just, there are plenty of days where I don’t _feel_ like a boy so much. Sometimes I walk around my apartment as a girl just so I can feel a little less _wrong_.”

A strong hand slips into his, firm and reassuring. “So, sometimes I have a dumb little brother, and sometimes I have a dumb little sister.”

Something warm shoots through him, affection and elation and something he can’t quite put his finger on, so he pulls her into a hug while stubbornly ignoring the tears pouring down his face.

“Naruto, what--”

“Thanks, Sakura-chan.”

She ruffles his hair.

//

“Hokage-baa-chan, I’d like to propose something.”

Tsunade doesn’t bother looking up from her desk and the pile of papers she’s pretending to read.

“I want to learn the ways of the kunoichi.”

A cough escapes from the corner where he knows the ANBU guard is standing, and Tsunade glares at him. “Naruto-kun, you’re a boy, you _can’t_ be a kunoichi.”

“Sometimes,” he says softly. She frowns. He takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders. “Sometimes I’m a boy, baa-chan, but sometimes I’m a girl, too. I think Sakura will teach me, if I ask.”

“Your Sexy Jutsu doesn’t count.”

“That’s not what I mean, Tsunade-sama. I mean that sometimes I’m a girl on the inside. It’s why I created the Sexy Jutsu. The first time I used it wasn’t to look sexy or distract anybody. Nobody even knew who I was.”

The realization dawns on her face, and it makes her shoulders sag. “I’m sorry,” she says. She rearranges her expression into something professional, straightening her spine. “Okay. First things first: how far are you willing to go as a kunoichi of Konoha? What things do you want to learn? What will you give up for your village?”

It sounds like the kind of thing he’d usually shout out the expected response to and figure out later, but this time, he stops and thinks about it. What is she asking him, really? He’s heard _some_ stories of what kunoichi have to do, but most of them opt out of the really grueling missions like those.

But Naruto never backs down from a challenge. Especially if it means he can protect somebody else from having to go through it. “I will give up everything for my village, Hokage-sama. I want to learn everything I can to help protect my people.”

A firm nod. He wonders why her eyes are sad. Maybe she’s sad about what he’s going to put himself through, but… He _has_ to. If other girls can do it, so can Naruto. Right?

“We need to give you papers, then. Come over here and sit, Naruto-kun, and we’ll write them up now. That way, you can start training with Sakura as soon as possible. You’ll have to wear your feminine form throughout your training. I don’t know what kind of strain that will put on your chakra, even with the Kyuubi.”

“Well, I had a month long vacation once and spent the whole thing as a girl. I didn’t feel any strain at all. I didn’t leave the village, but I did a lot of training in the Forest of Death, and I didn’t drop the transformation once. Besides, you don’t drop your _henge_.”

“I’m also a _sannin_ , Naruto.”

“And I’m a jinchuriki, Tsunade-sama.” He shrugs. “I like using the transformation jutsu because it lets my physical body match what’s inside when I use it.”

//

“Excuse me, miss? I didn’t catch your name!”

She turns, smiling. It’s freeing, finally being able to wear her female face in public again. Walking around the apartment is fine and all, but it’s not the same as walking through the market district, or speaking to others, or _wearing the proper clothes_.

“Oh, I’m sorry. My name’s Haru. I’m new to the village, but I’m taking lessons from a few of the kunoichi and I can’t be late for my first day! Thanks again, Ayame-san!”

Naruto makes it to the bridge with ten minutes to spare and leans back against the railing. She’s not surprised that she doesn’t sense Sakura anywhere nearby, though Sakura doesn’t hide her presence when she isn’t working in the field. Anyway, Sakura hasn’t seen her henge yet, and probably assumes that Haru and Naruto are exactly the same--they aren’t, but she doesn’t mind the misconception. Like Naruto, Haru doesn’t care much about her looks. The only reason she uses Sexy Jutsu is as a distraction--it’s too bad it works so well, really.

Her feminine form is strong but smaller in size, her blonde hair about three shades paler, and to protect her identity, she makes sure to hide her birthmarks. If she’s training to be a kunoichi and plans on using her body for things male shinobi would never have to, she needs to know how to _do_ it (and she’s not going to make Sakura, who doesn’t do those things for work, teach her). Naruto’s pretty certain she’s going to request a few days and make somebody in a civilian village teach her, even if it means becoming a whore for a week. And as elite as ANBU-Yu is, Naruto _really_ isn’t cut out for it.

She’ll also try a few other hair colors, body shapes, and beauty marks. If she needs to tempt men into bed and coax their secrets out of them, she has to be diverse. No two men are alike, and everyone has different tastes, right?

“I’ve never seen you here before.”

Naruto jumps five feet in the air, landing in a crouch on the railing, before she realizes who her company is. “Oh! You frightened me, Hatake-san.” _Focus, Naruto. You aren’t here to make eyes at your sensei!!! Today is about kunoichi training!_

“You know me?”

“I’m in Konohagakure, Hatake-san. I think everybody here knows you.”

“But, sadly, I don’t know you.”

 _And this is why I’m glad I disguised my scent, even though he’s probably suspicious of me anyway._ “Of course, I’m sorry. My name is Takeshita Haru. Are you just passing by, Hatake-san?”

“Oh! Good, you’ve met! Kakashi-sensei, this is a friend of mine.” Sakura jogs up to them, stopping at Naruto’s side like they’ve done this a hundred times. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

“You have friends, Sakura-chan?” Kakashi asks. If Naruto didn’t already know how he sounded when he was teasing (didn’t already know _him_ ), she’d be offended on Sakura’s behalf. It’s so _strange_ , being a stranger.

Sakura rolls her eyes, but she doesn’t punch him. “Whatever. Haru-chan doesn’t have any formal kunoichi training, and I have some time off, so shishou is letting me work with her. Would you like to join us?”

For some reason, Naruto’s first thought is to protest, and that fact bothers her. She’s known Kakashi for years! He’s still her sensei, when she’s Naruto. Why _wouldn’t_ she want him to oversee her training? Is it because of the things she’s learning to do?

“Perhaps next time, Sakura-chan. Hokage-sama is sending me on a diplomatic mission to Sunagakure.” He gives his false eye-smile to both of them before he _shunshins_ away.

Naruto sags, uncomfortable with how tense the unexpected meeting made her. “Sakura-chan, I think I’m gonna have my work cut out for me. That was _hard_.”

“You’ve never really had to lie like that to Kakashi-sensei before, Haru-chan. I’m not really surprised it bothers you so much. But part of your role as a kunoichi is going to be investigating harassment claims and crimes committed by shinobi. Especially for you. Shishou expects a lot from you.”

“I made a promise,” she replies, falling in step beside Sakura on their way to their chosen training ground. “Sakura, there aren’t many shinobi who have the powers that I do, and even less who are willing to use them the way I am. And even _less_ who are willing to become an ANBU level kunoichi in order to protect their people.” She sighs. “I know a lot of people think I’m dumb. I know a lot of people think I only get by on sheer will alone. And sometimes, they’re right. But only sometimes. I may not be a genius like you and Sasuke are, but I’m _good_ at this. I really am.”

She looks up from the road when Sakura links their arms together.

“I’m really glad you made me get to know you.”

//

Naruto looks up from the book in her hands when a shadow falls over the pages. “May I help you, shinobi-san?”

Hinata cocks her head. “I think you know my name. We’re old friends, you should use it.”

Naruto hums. “Okay, Hina-chan, but I hope you haven’t made any assumptions about me.”

“That’s too bad. I’ve already assumed you have a horrible taste in poetry,” she says, eyes flicking to the cover of Naruto’s book. And then she smiles. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

“Sometimes I’m a girl on the inside, Hina-chan, and so I’m learning some of the ways of the kunoichi so that I can take missions that Tsunade-sama is always forced to send Anko-san on.”

Hinata gazes at her. “Do you know what that means?” she asks. “The things you’re going to be put through--you don’t deserve them, you know.”

“Hina-chan, there are women captured and sold in sex trafficking every year. There are shinobi who don’t even _know_ . I’ve never seen much of a difference between men and women, Hina-chan, not in all my life. So, why is it that there are less kunoichi in the ranks? Because women are being taken advantage of and being kidnapped and raped and murdered, and _I want to save them._ If I have to do unsavory things to get the information I want, if I have to get kidnapped just to find them, _I will happily do so_.” She glares until she feels a hand in hers and looks down at the contact.

“You’ve always been so ready to jump in and help, and people have always turned you away.”

Naruto meets Hinata’s gaze with a smile. “You’ve never turned me away, Hina-chan. I’m sorry I can’t be what you wanted, but I’m a very devoted friend.”

“And you will have my loyalty until the day I die,” is Hinata’s response. The fierceness of her gaze, the way she grips Naruto’s hand, sends a shock of emotion through her. Hinata believes in her, has always believed in her, and Naruto appreciates her more than she can ever say.

She leans over to pull Hinata into a hug. “My name is Haru.”

//

The women in the brothel where Naruto goes (civilian, and as far from Konoha as she dares) do their best to teach her the basics before bringing her her first client--they tell her he’s a regular customer and well known for being patient and educational. Apparently he doesn’t sleep with any girl in the business more than once, but each one is _friends_ with him.

She’s almost looking forward to it, except for the fact that she’s losing her virginity for work.

But they’re right about him. He’s kind, and he talks her through every move, and warns her that most men who visit places like this one are typically exactly the opposite. The entire experience is treated as an educational one by both of them, and after he helps her clean up and they dress, he asks her to have dinner with him.

“You can call me Hanako. What should I call you, client-san?” Naruto asks, swinging her feet because they don’t touch the ground from the stool at the ramen stand they’d stumbled upon.

He shoots her a small smile. “These days, I go by Aki. May I ask you something, Hanako-chan?”

“I suppose.”

“I don’t always ask the girls I see, but sometimes, the ones like you, I feel like I should. Why are you doing this?”

She chews on his question while she chews her food, and then smiles at him. “It may sound silly, Aki-san, but I’m doing this because I want to help people.” She studies him while he eats, a thought crossing her mind. “Why do _you_ do this, Aki-san?”

He doesn’t answer right away, so she turns to her food, ignoring her inner voice telling her to just devour it.

“I fell in love with a girl named Michi when we were still young enough to be in school, but her family was poor and I wasn’t permitted to marry her. So, I refused everyone else my family arranged for me. By the time I convinced them, Michi-chan had already married somebody else, but I knew I could never do the same. So, I stayed friends with her. Only three months after she married the other man, Michi was killed by him for being ‘incompetent’ and he was never even punished. He killed her because she didn’t know how to do the things I just taught you, Hanako-chan.”

She hums. “So, when you find girls with no experience, you teach them so they don’t meet the same fate.”

Aki smiles at her, though it isn’t the kind of smile somebody wears when they are truly happy. Naruto wonders if there’s any way she can help him, but ultimately decides against it. She’s meant to be learning how to use her body as a tool, she doesn’t have time to deviate from her mission (and it _is_ an actual mission, though top secret for Naruto’s protection), especially when she doesn’t even know what she’d _do_ for Aki-san.

“You should tell me about Michi, Aki-san. What made you fall in love with her?”

//

On Naruto’s last night in the brothel, the madam knocks on her door. “Hanako-chan, there is a gentleman downstairs I think you’ll do nicely for. He only comes by once every few years. I think I could count on one hand the amount of times I’ve actually met the man.” The woman shrugs. “He’s very private, but he’s not picky. And you’re one of the least intrusive.”

It takes all of Naruto’s training not to turn on her heel and run. She _doesn’t need to know where her jounin sensei goes to get his rocks off!_ On the other hand, the amount of self-loathing on his face is enough to make her remember just who she’s looking at.

“Good evening, shinobi-san,” she says lightly, giving him a small smile. “You can call me Hanako, if you want to.”

He gives a nod, ever suspicious, ever controlled. “Katsumi.”

In private, she’s quiet. Mostly, she’s relieved that she’d chosen a different face, a different hair-color, a different scent, when she came here. If he knew who he was with, if he knew what she was putting herself through, he’d probably be very, very _pissed off_. She wonders, why does he look so distraught visiting a place like this, but happily reads Ero-sennin’s books in public any other time?

“Katsumi-san?” she asks from the bed while he pulls his clothes back on. “Why do you look like you’ve committed a crime?”

He doesn’t answer.

“Is it because there’s someone precious to you that you cannot be with?” The thought had occurred in the hazy recesses of her mind during that short period of bliss before reality crept back in and Naruto remembered the circumstances she was under. It wouldn’t really be so shocking if, underneath Kakashi-sensei’s lazy facade and his carefully controlled personality, there was a man who loved deeply and was hurting even more because of that.

“Yes.”

Naruto sits up, not bothering to cover herself. “Why can’t you?”

His whole body goes still, which isn’t a new sight for her, but still more of a reaction than she was expecting. He glances at her with his normal eye, face carefully blank beneath his mask. “He is… too good for me.” With that, he turns away again, sliding his flak jacket on over his uniform.

“That sounds a little generic. I bet you he doesn’t even know how you feel, Katsumi-san.”

“If I were a dark cavern, he would be the sun,” Kakashi replies. “Why do you care, Hanako-chan?”

She stretches, laughing when he glances back only to jerk his head around again. “Unlike most of the ladies here, Katsumi-san, I don’t need the money. I met a man like you once, you know. Someone who hid their kindness under layers of steel and physical barriers. I recognized the look in your eye, the self-loathing and sadness and regret that’s knotted up around your heart.” She brushes her fingers over his arm on her way to the small bathroom attached to her room. “I don’t want your money, Katsumi-san, but I wouldn’t mind if you stayed a little longer with me.”

“If I don’t go, I’ll be late getting back.”

“Oh? Are you a stickler for deadlines?” Naruto nearly chokes on the question, but she can’t let on that she knows him, or he’ll either want to kill her, or drag her back to Konoha and avoid her for the rest of their lives.

He hums, but moves to sit at the foot of the bed, bringing one knee up to rest his arm on. He doesn’t look at her, probably to protect her modesty, but Naruto still doesn’t think much of being naked, no matter what body she’s in.

She showers quickly, efficiency not lost on her, and wraps herself in a light robe after she’s dry so that he might at least meet her eyes. “Did you ever tell your person of your feelings for him?” She leans against the wall on his right, legs stretched out in front of her, looking at his reflection in the small mirror above the dresser.

“Once. I think he took it as a joke. It’s not like I _wasn’t_ teasing him, but I was telling the truth at the same time.”

Something presses at Naruto’s memory, but she pushes it away. This moment is for Kakashi, because he’s precious to Naruto and she can give him her attention when he’s opening up, especially when he refuses to open up to _anyone_ he actually knows. She’s pretty sure the only two people who really understand Kakashi are Gai-sensei and Yamato-taicho, and _they_ aren’t going to betray Kakashi’s reluctant trust.

Still, she wonders. Will he ever let himself be happy? What happened to him that has him so messed up he doesn’t want to let anybody in?

“Even if I brought it up again, he deserves better.” He clears his throat. “And everyone I’ve ever loved ends up dead.”

That certainly explains it.

“Except for him, though there’ve been a few close calls. I used to be in ANBU in my country,” he admits. “I was young, younger than he is now, and the Hokage often sent me to watch over him because his father was my sensei before he died.”

 _That explains a lot, actually. And I used to think he hated me. I suppose he hated how much I reminded him of my father?_ _But if he’s talking about my father, then he’s also… talking about me._ Naruto feels a pang of frustration at the thought that she hadn’t _realized_. How could she be so stupid?!

“I’m really rather surprised you have no comment on the fact that I have feelings for my dead sensei’s son.”

She shoots him an unimpressed look. “Sounds rather innocent from over here. You don’t really seem like the type to let people in easily, so if you’ve found one person who got in anyway, I say kudos to him.” The sky outside her window starts to brighten, and she sighs. “Everybody needs somebody.”

The set of Kakashi’s shoulders is just a little more relaxed when he leaves out the window.

She turns her attention to Kurama when he presses for it, not at all surprised that he doesn’t bother opening his eyes. **You have no idea what kind of mess this will turn out to be if he ever learns the truth.**

_I’m going to have to tell him at some point._

The fox sighs, hot breath ruffling Naruto’s hair. **I pity the man when he learns he’s already confessed to** **_and_ ** **bedded his student. This will be hell on his psyche.**

_You think it’ll really be that bad?_

**For all he knows, your whole mission was to bed him and force him to open up using any means necessary, looking for weaknesses. You’re a ninja, he’s a ninja, he knows way more about the ANBU-Yu and their ways than you possibly could, kit. Consider this a fair warning, this will most likely blow up in your face. You should have risked the mission and turned him away.**

_Well, it’s too late for that now, Kurama!_

It really was too late, but a part of her promptly began mourning her friendship with the Copy-nin. After all, there was no reason to _not_ believe Kurama. He was a lot older and wiser than she, and that meant he gave pretty solid advice when he felt the whim to give it.

//

Naruto hands her paperwork to the chunin at the gates, shifting restlessly.

“Takeshita-san, Hokage-sama has requested your presence upon arrival, though our notice says you aren’t due back until evening.” The chunin studies her, looking like he wants to take her to the TI building for Ibiki to interrogate. She raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him, holding her hand out for her papers.

“I finished my work a little early. Am I clear?”

With a sigh, he relents, leaning back into his seat.

Naruto slips her hands into her jacket on her way to Hokage Tower, nodding to familiar faces and hiding a smile when two friends fall in step beside her. Only one of them knows who she really is, while the other has only seen her current face in passing. “How was your mission, Haru-chan?” Hinata asks. Kiba is silent on her other side.

“Very educational, Hina-chan, and a lot different than I was expecting. The locals were pretty friendly, too.” She gives Hinata a smile. “Were you really worried about me?”

Her friend gives her a serious look, reaching for her hand. “Listen, Haru-chan, you know I support what you’re doing because I trust you, but…”

“I know, Hinata-chan. I really do get why it bothers you, but I’m really okay with it. Besides, I think we’re making Kiba-san uncomfortable.” Mostly, Naruto wants Hinata to have a little faith. She’s never gone back on her word in her life, has never once thought it was okay to give up. She’s not going to change now, girl or boy.

Hinata’s glare doesn’t phase her.

“Takeshita-san,” Kiba says from her other side. “Are you using chakra to disguise your scent?”

“I’m a little impressed, Kiba-san. I didn’t realize your nose could detect that.” She smiles at him anyway. “Unfortunately, I can’t tell you why. Tsunade-sama’s very strict about what I’m allowed to say at this point.”

They leave her side once they reach the tower. She’s on her way to Tsunade’s office when she passes the ANBU who’d been present the day she’d proposed this entire notion to Tsunade. She gives him a smile for the sole purpose of hearing the little gasp that slips out of his cool exterior. Neji may be an amazing shinobi, but she thinks he’s too soft on the inside to truly succumb to the ways of the ANBU (she can’t imagine how he’d be if he’d had the same conditioning through Root that Sai did), a lot like another talented shinobi she refuses to name.

So, why is it that the person she’s avoided thinking of for several days is stepping out of Tsunade’s office when she reaches it? His footsteps falter the second they make eye contact, but hers resolutely do not. “Good morning, Hatake-san!” she chirps before closing the door behind herself. “You wanted to see me, Tsunade-sama?”

“Three months in this body, how are you feeling?”

Naruto shrugs. “Pretty normal, though my head’s been a little… boy-ish the last couple days.”

“You may switch back if you want. I’d like your mission report while you’re here.”

Naruto shrugs and releases the _henge_ , stretching out his limbs. “Well, the, uh, _facility_ you sent me to was actually pretty decent, and the madam was really nice, if a little rough around the edges. Not that I blame her, the kind of business she runs. And they didn’t just hand me a client right away, they gave me a bit of an education first, stuff I had _no_ clue about! I’d say I’m pretty confident in my new abilities, Hokage-baa-chan. Do you want the money I earned from the brothel, or should I keep it? Oh, I should probably inform you that one of your jonin unwittingly spent a night in my bed, but I’m going to leave his name out of it, okay?”

Tsunade watches him, resting her chin on her palm. “You didn’t turn him away? The shinobi?”

“And risk blowing my cover? I’d never refused a client the entire two weeks I was there, baa-chan, wouldn’t that make the madam a little suspicious? Besides, _he_ didn’t notice, and he’s one of your most distrusting shinobi. Anyway, a client is a client, baa-chan.”

He takes a step back when he sees her eye twitching. “Are you telling me that _Hatake Kakashi_ was one of your clients?”

“I’m not telling you that, Tsunade-sama.” Naruto doesn’t fidget. “Was there anything else you needed?”

She sighs. “You’re dismissed. But if you came in here as Haru and leave as Naruto, somebody is bound to catch on.”

He grins and leaps out the window.

//

Naruto looks up sharply when a familiar presence comes to a stop behind her--she can almost visualize his stance too, jaw set and arms crossed, eyes tracing every detail of her _henge_.

“I suppose this is different than your _typical_ transformation jutsu, but what is its purpose?”

She sighs, shoulders slumping. “Iruka-sensei, you know how sometimes, somebody’s body doesn’t quite fit what’s on the inside? This is just… who I am sometimes. If I wasn’t training to take down a trafficking ring, I probably wouldn’t hide my identity, but Tsunade-sama made me keep it a secret for now.” When she turns to face him, she can’t help but feel a little blindsided by the gentle look in his eyes.

He pulls her into a hug. “You really have grown up, haven’t you?”

A beat, then she’s slipping her arms around his waist and returning his hug with twice his enthusiasm, grinning into his shoulder. Maybe she’d been a little nervous, but she hasn’t doubted Iruka since that fateful day when Mizuki-sensei told her the truth about the Kyuubi, about what she was and why everyone feared and despised her.

“Have I ever told you you’re the best big brother ever?” she asks as she pulls away, just to watch the embarrassed flush crawl up his neck, staining his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

But then Iruka grins. “Well, you make the cutest little sister ever.” And Naruto knows she’s just as red as him.

Internally, she hears Kurama’s rumbling chuckle. **He isn’t wrong, you know.**

//

Somebody knocks on his apartment door just before the sun starts to set. He’s making dinner, taking proper care of himself for once, and doesn’t bother checking to see who’s outside before he opens the door.

“Good evening, Naruto-kun.”

“Kakashi-sensei! How was your mission?”

“Fairly simple. I don’t remember seeing you before I left. May I come in?”

He steps back, letting Kakashi inside before closing the door and turning, only to find Kakashi staring at the kitchen with his head cocked to the side. “You’re… cooking?”

Of course, everyone he knows is used to Naruto’s ‘I’m a total knucklehead’ persona. He may have taught himself to cook when he was a lot younger, but nobody’s ever seen evidence that he eats properly… until now. “Just because it _seems_ like I don’t listen when people lecture me doesn’t mean it’s true, sensei. Would you like to stay for dinner?” He crosses the room, checking the pot on the stove.

“You’re… wearing an apron?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that? Sensei, you’re acting all weird, is there something wrong?” He pulls a chair out and gestures for Kakashi to sit in it, reaching into the fridge for a drink.

Kakashi’s quiet for a few moments, tracing a groove on the table with his thumb nail. “Naruto, what do you know about Takeshita Haru?”

 _Well, for one thing, she’s me, sensei._ “Not a _whole_ lot, but I met her a few times.”

“She doesn’t seem like she’s… hiding something?” His visible eye traces Naruto’s expression for a hint of _something_ , but Naruto thinks he’s gotten pretty good at deflecting over the years, and he’s not quite ready to confess. Not to Kakashi. What if he doesn’t accept Haru as a part of Naruto? There’s no way their relationship could really continue if Kakashi is disgusted by him.

“Uh, sensei, she’s a _shinobi_ . It’s practically a given that she’s hiding something. Besides, _you_ hide all kinds of stuff.” He makes two plates of food and sets one in front of Kakashi, reaching for a glass to fill with water. “Now eat. And I promise it’s edible, okay?”

Naruto keeps his eyes down to give Kakashi privacy, because he’s already exposed a lot about his sensei this month. Either way, it gives him time to think about Kakashi’s question. “Why are you worried about Takeshita-chan, anyway? You’re _Sharingan no Kakashi_ , I’m sure if she’s dangerous, you can take her.” He wants to laugh at the absurdity of talking about himself in third person.

“I don’t think there’s any need for that, Naruto, but I don’t quite understand her. Ayame-san seems to think she’s a civilian from another country who’s just learning a few things from the kunoichi, but if she’s taking missions from the Hokage, then perhaps she’s a lot more fundamental than previously thought.”

Naruto hums. “She could be a disguise. Maybe she’s somebody you know.”

“Then she must be very good at her job, because I didn’t even recognize her _scent_.”

 _Thank you for the compliment, sensei._ “Or, perhaps she’s always been here and you just never crossed paths with her before.” He shrugs. “I know you make a point to recognize everybody, but there could be people that you just never crossed paths with.”

The door to his apartment bangs open and Naruto glances up to see Sakura closing it behind her, sinking to the floor to lean against it. “How did your mission go, Naruto?”

He gets up, plating some food and taking it to her with a grin. “Surprisingly easy, Sakura-chan!” he chirps. “I even made a new friend!”

“Did you talk to shishou already?”

When he returns to his seat, Kakashi’s plate is already clear and he’s leaning back looking mildly confused. Naruto sips his juice. “Yeah, she didn’t look very happy when I told her about the minor bump in my mission, but it wasn’t anything to worry about.”

“Minor bump?” Sakura looks a little too serious. “What _kind_ of minor bump?”

“Okay, am I missing something here?” Kakashi looks between them. “For one thing, I’m fairly certain that the last time I was in the same room as both of you, you weren’t nearly this close.”

“Naruto had a mission in the Land of Tea,” she says. Naruto’s heart stutters, but he rolls his eyes for show.

“Exactly. It was really simple and didn’t take long. The hitch in my plan was more like a perk, really.” He shoots her a glare when Kakashi’s eye is focused solely on Sakura’s expression.

“If it was such a perk, why was shishou upset about it?”

“The paperwork?” he offers, and nothing else. He turns back to his meal in favor of ignoring both of them. Why Sakura had to mention the location is beyond him. What if Kakashi figures it out? He’s almost _bound_ to, now, and that means he’s going to be pissed at Naruto for tricking him.

“What kind of mission was it?” Kakashi asks. There’s something about his tone that Naruto can’t place, and he doesn’t like it.

“Educational,” he responds. “Some very nice locals were teaching me their ways because baa-chan didn’t want me to be conditioned like an ANBU.”

Kakashi makes a sound that’s somewhere between confused and apprehensive. “ANBU doesn’t suit you, Naruto-kun.” He says it so gently that Naruto wonders how his voice doesn’t break.

He offers Kakashi a smile. “I know it doesn’t. Either way, I don’t think I have the skills to be ANBU, and there’s really nothing seductive about me, so I’m better off doing what I’m doing now. Especially with the skills I do have.”

Sakura is suddenly there, collecting the empty dishes and dumping them in the sink to wash them. “I think we should tell him, Naruto-chan.”

“Baa-chan said I wasn’t allowed,” he says, though he nearly has to _force_ the words out. “But…”

Before anybody can say anything else, the panther ANBU slips in through the open window and holds out a scroll to Naruto. He gives Neji an awkward smile as he accepts it. “Thanks.”

“Hokage-sama wants to see you before you leave,” he adds. “But you might want to change first.” He’s gone before Naruto manages to open the scroll.

Sakura and Kakashi watch silently as he flits around his apartment packing what he’ll need, taking care to grab Haru’s sealing scroll and clothing that _isn’t_ Naruto-typical. He has to leave before dawn, and if Tsunade wants to see him--see _Haru_ \--before he leaves, he needs to be prepared. “Sakura-chan, do you mind watering my plants while I’m gone? If you can’t, I’ll ask Hina-chan, but she doesn’t have a key.”

“I’ll take care of it. How long will you be gone?”

“A month? Maybe a little longer if things don’t go smoothly.” He slams his bedroom door shut and transforms before leaving out the window.

//

Naruto stares at the other women crammed in the cell with her, wondering how exactly she’s supposed to get information when the guards don’t actually approach the women and the other women don’t actually _know_ anything about the situation. Is she supposed to play twenty questions? She can only extend her hearing so far without being detected, and though she knows Tsunade is sending a tracker after her, she’s pretty sure it’s going to _be_ a few weeks before then.

“You’re new here, aren’t you?”

Naruto meets the eyes of the woman who spoke, cocking her head. “Yes.”

She snorts, squinting. “I thought so. You still have that youthful look in your eye.”

Naruto almost laughs, but smacks a hand over her mouth in case any guards are nearby.

The woman gives her an unimpressed look.

“I’m sorry, but your words reminded me of somebody from my village.” She offers a smile. “Is it always this quiet around here?”

Most of the other girls are avoiding even glancing at Naruto--it leads her to believe that they’re punished for making conversation and bonding with each other, something that truly makes her want to vomit. That, or commit murder. Both, probably.

She doesn’t continue to press, but the next time the guards go through, they drag her out of the shared room and take her to a single cell where she has no contact for several hours, until Kurama speaks up for the first time in a very _long_ time.

The Kyuubi chuckles, low and rumbling. **Well, kit, it looks like you’re housing more than one extra being now.**

_Eh?_

Does he mean that Haru is another person? Because she’s definitely still Naruto, but other people aren’t supposed to _know_ that, so she has a second name.

 **I** ** _suppose_** **I could be mistaken,** he says, though his tone suggests he really doesn’t. **But it looks like you’re carrying a child.**

 _Carrying… a child? You mean I’m_ pregnant _?! That’s possible? I mean, I’m aware I’m a girl right now, but I’ve been switching back and forth since my time at the brothel!_

 **I did notice that there was an extra set of organs when you were walking around as a male. Could have been a womb.** In her mind’s eye, Kurama shrugs. **Where are we, anyway?**

 _We’re undercover at the hideout of a_ sex trafficking ring _!!!! This is not good! Ugh,_ why _didn't I get a physical exam after my mission to the Land of Tea?_

She scrolls through all of her clients in her memories, writing off Aki and her next two clients immediately. The fourth and fifth are both possible fathers, the sixth didn’t penetrate her at all, and the seventh was a woman. The next five could be candidates, though the two following shouldn’t be, and the last was… Kakashi.

_You probably aren’t able to tell me how far along I am._

**Sorry, kit, but I am not. This is not something you should tell your captors, though.**

He has a point there. But it means she can’t tell _anyone_ , and she doubts Kurama will sit and listen to her worry for more than a few moments, which leaves her to ponder the entire situation alone.

She won’t bother informing any of her clients about her pregnancy—none of them can be trusted and she’s fairly confident that she can raise her child without the baby’s father, but…

If the father happens to be Kakashi? She’s going to have to tell him _everything_ . She respects him, and she trusts him, and above all that, Naruto _understands_ him. Besides, as socially inept and ridiculous as he is, she thinks he’d probably make a good father.

After that thought occurs to her, it’s all she can _think_ about, but she needs to _stop_ . First of all, she doesn’t even know if Kakashi is her child’s father, and secondly? She’s nowhere _near_ due!

//

She’s not quite sure what wakes her, when awareness creeps in, but Naruto stretches out her senses enough to recognize the sound of a key in the lock on her cell door.

She draws on chakra to enhance her eyesight, jumping up from the cavern floor when she does. _Kakashi? Baa-chan sent Kakashi to retrieve me?_

She assures herself that her _henge_ is in place before approaching the bars. “You’re looking a little pissed off tonight.”

The lock clicks, the door swings open silently, and Kakashi stares at her with one eye. “Are you hurt?”

“No.”

“Where do they keep the women?”

Naruto steps out of her cell, turning left, and he falls in step beside her. “Haru-san,” he starts, but Naruto shakes her head.

“Technically, that’s not my name.” She turns right after thirty-seven steps, and left after sixteen. “It isn’t Hanako, either.”

His feet don’t falter, but she feels the atmosphere around him change, feels his walls coming up a little more.

“My name is Naruto,” she adds, taking another left after counting forty-three steps. “Sometimes I feel a lot more like a girl than I do a boy, and that’s why I’m also Haru. But mostly, my gender doesn’t matter to me.”

After that, the conversation can’t continue because things take a turn for the worse and all of Naruto’s concentration is otherwise focused.

//

Naruto gazes blankly at the ceiling in her hospital room, ignoring the person sitting at her side.

“You have to talk to me at some point, you know.”

Well, she’s _trying,_ but Sakura isn’t really easy to ignore, and Naruto’s patience is _worn out_. 

“He’s going to come back.”

She shoots Sakura a glare.

“Hey, I’m not the one who lied to him.”

“Ex _cuse me_ ? I was following _Hokage-sama's orders_ ! I may not be Little Miss Obedient, but I’ve _never_ seen that look on baa-chan’s face before! I couldn’t just ignore her!” She pushes herself into a sitting position, ignoring the discomfort all over her body. “And in the Land of Tea, what was I supposed to do? Let him know that I knew who he was, and risk him dragging me back to Konoha? Or worse, embarrass him enough that he avoids me forever? Or _worse_ tell him the truth and then never see him again? _Oh wait_.”

Sakura crosses her arms, frowning. “Okay, fine. I understand your decisions, Naru-chan, but can you at least come clean to the rest of our friends now? Seriously, we’ve been fighting for months and I miss you, and half of our friends are split between us. And _they don’t even know why we’re fighting._ They don’t even know you’re pregnant!”

She looks down at her stomach, resting one hand on the baby bump. “Do you think it’ll make them uncomfortable?”

“What, that you’re pregnant? Why would it?”

“Because to them, I’m just gonna be Dead Last again.”

Sakura stands up, only to sit on the edge of her bed. “People used to treat you like dirt, and I can see why you spend more time pretending to be somebody else. But you aren’t dead last anymore. Everybody will agree on that, you don’t have to change your name, or your looks. And you have me, you have shishou, you have Hinata.”

“And Neji.”

“Really?”

“He’s known just as long as Tsunade-baa-chan.”

Sakura bumps their shoulders together. “Speaking of: you need to tell shishou that you aren’t taking anymore missions until after you have the baby. If you don’t, _I_ will. If you need to work that badly, you can have a desk job until you and your baby are ready for a little time apart. Otherwise, you’ll be more of a hindrance than a help on missions.” She gestures to the room around them. “Your wounds were severe enough that the Kyuubi’s healing powers weren’t enough. _And_ the rest of the team wasn’t aware of your condition.”

After they returned from the Land of Iron, after freeing the women and capturing or killing the crime lords and missing-nin running the disgusting business (and leaving the survivors with the Daimyo), Kakashi vehemently began avoiding Naruto. She hasn’t caught one glimpse of him in _months_ , and every time she gets an inkling that he’s nearby, his chakra impression practically vanishes and she’s left wondering if she imagined it.

Those who’ve noticed don’t mention it, and she wears her male form so rarely now that it’s hard to hide her pregnancy--it doesn’t deplete her chakra, hiding it, but the constant use of it makes her tired, and honestly _sad_ , so she’s better off wearing her female form until the pregnancy is through. She figures she has about a month left, if that.

(She really wants to be able to talk to Kakashi before then.)

(What if the baby is his? And he doesn't even know she’s pregnant!)

Naruto heaves a sigh. “Fine. Okay. But I’d really kind of rather corner Kakashi-sensei before I confess to anybody else. He can’t avoid me forever, right? All I want to do is talk to him!”

Sakura rolls her eyes. “Well, you’re lucky you know where he lives, because sneaking into his apartment is probably the only way you'll catch him without anyone’s help.”

//

Naruto thinks it’s rather lucky that he has a few weeks before Tsunade will try to give him another mission, because Kakashi’s mission will supposedly be over within the next few days and that means he can study the layout of his apartment before he gets back.

It just so happens that he’s perched in a completely undetectable location outside of Kakashi’s building when Neji appears next to him (without his ANBU mask for once). “You know, Naruto-kun, you’re going to have to hide your presence better if you don’t want to be avoided by _Sharingan no Kakashi_.”

He heaves a sigh, slumping in defeat. “I think he thinks I was spying on him when we ran into each other in the Land of Tea. He told me something he probably never would have if he knew who I was, and when I finally told him it was me, he completely shut me out.”

Neji doesn’t respond for long enough that Naruto starts to think he isn’t going to, but then he reaches for his hand and gives it a squeeze. “Well then, you know what you have to do. You just might have to go about it a little more… intelligently. You could use your friends, for instance. Like, say, if somebody like Hokage-sama decided to help you, she could then summon him and force him to speak to you. I don’t think he would go as far as to become a missing-nin just to avoid you.”

If Naruto wasn’t already hopelessly in love with somebody else, he could almost see himself falling for Neji. “Thank you.”

“That’s what friends are for.”

//

Naruto’s stuck on the floor in a corner of Tsunade’s office doing _paperwork_ (ugh) when Kakashi finally returns from his courier mission (looking no worse for wear, though very tired). She’s been getting a lot better at suppressing her chakra, so it’s not a big surprise when Kakashi doesn’t notice her, though it could just be that he’s completely ignoring her.

She frowns but says nothing. She’ll find a way to talk to him, but for now, she needs to stop stressing--Sakura’s already told her that it’s really not good for the baby if she keeps dwelling on negative emotions.

She’d broken and confessed to Tsunade-sama when the Hokage had nearly cut her rest time short after the last mission. Once she explained why she couldn’t go on a B-rank mission to the Land of Wind, Tsunade had literally berated her for a good hour about why she was an idiot and then proceeded to declare that the rest of her pregnancy would be spent helping with Tsunade’s paperwork.

It was probably the lesser evil as far as punishments go, but Naruto kind of wishes she was digging trash out of the river instead--she’s barely had any time to even _plan_ how to speak to her friends. At least when she’s in Tsunade’s office, she doesn’t bother disguising her hair color, or her whisker marks, but she is a lot more comfortable in her female body with the weight of the baby.

(She really wishes he--she’s almost _certain_ she’s having a boy--would stop using her bladder as a trampoline.)

“Naruto!”

She jumps, looking up from the scroll she’s all but buried her nose in. “Baa-chan?”

“I _said_ you were dismissed for the evening. Do you want somebody to walk you home?”

“Ne, Hokage-sama, I’m sure _somebody_ will notice if I go into labor in the middle of the street. I’ll see you in the morning!” she chirps, collecting her jacket and bustling out of the office.

She’s halfway to her apartment when she realizes that Kakashi had still been in the room and is now _absolutely_ aware of her ongoing pregnancy. He knows she’s pregnant, and she can only imagine what kinds of conclusions he’ll draw about that.

 _Well_ , she thinks, _there’s nothing to be done about that now. If only I could get him to talk to me._

She’s unlocking her apartment door when she realizes that she hadn’t bothered altering her henge to include any actual disguise for her walk home, therefore exposing herself as NARUTO with a FEMALE’S BODY. All of the things she was so worried about keeping secret, so worried about being careful in admitting, are now exposed. At least one of her friends will hear a rumor and all of the puzzle pieces will click.

 _Damn you Hatake Kakashi_.

If his sudden reappearance in her life (as anticlimactic as it was) hadn’t made her so flustered that she literally buried her nose in a scroll while her thoughts spun wildly out of her control, her carefully balanced lives would not be in shambles! _It’s all your fault!_

If he’d just given her a few moments to explain herself, she surely would have come clean to her friends and dropped the act by now! But now he’s drawing conclusions about her, half of the Rookie 9 are probably going to find out and be pissed, and _she’s still not sure why she can’t get the stupid key to unlock her door_.

“You’re putting it in the wrong way.”

It’s only through her atypical-yet-extensive training that she doesn’t scream out of surprise. Nevertheless, she flips the key around and it sinks into the lock, turning easily.

She throws the door open and makes her way over to the couch, sinking into the cushions with a sigh, eyes falling shut. “Well? Are you coming in, or are you just gonna stand there, sensei?”

When the door clicks shut, she cracks one eye open to see him looking around the apartment as if he’s looking for any changes. It kind of irks her to no end.

“Why didn’t you tell me who you were, or simply turn me away when you realized I was… a client?”

“If I’d said no to you, the madam would’ve been suspicious. I’d already been there for two weeks, you were my final client, and it would have drawn attention to me after all the effort I made to fit in there. And if I’d told you who I was then, would you have acted like nothing happened? Or would you have been embarrassed, or _angry_ , even? Would you not have dragged me back to Konoha and demanded answers from Tsunade-sama?”

He shifts, keeping his eyes on everything but her, and that’s how she knows that he’s not planning on sticking around (and that she wasn’t entirely wrong in any of her assumptions).

“You can draw whatever conclusions you want about me, Kakashi-sensei, but I didn’t tell you at first because I was afraid that you’d be mad at me, and _after_ I was afraid that you would be… uncomfortable with what I am. When I finally did, it was because I promised myself a long time ago that I wouldn’t run away. Because you’re my sensei, and my friend, and one of my most precious people.” By now, he’s clearly itching to leave, so she closes her eyes again. Maybe she screwed up a little, and he has every right to be upset that she tricked him, but he’s being a total jerk about it. She’s not going to let him see how much that _hurts_. “I’ve said everything I needed to say, and I’m not going to beg you to forgive me. We both know I’m not the type. Thank you for letting me explain, sensei, I really appreciate it.”

_Kami, I sound so emotionless._

He moves closer for a moment, tucking a lock of her hair out of her face, and then he’s out the door and gone, and Naruto wants to scream at the mixed signals he’s giving her with that one gentle gesture.

But she doesn’t. She rests for a moment longer, and then she shuts down any train of thought except the one in the background that’s planning for her baby and everything up to having him, pushing herself off of the couch to make dinner and get cleaned up.

//

 _Silversilverhishairissilverit’saboyilovehimiloveyoumysonmy_ son _!_

Naruto is exhausted, and his body aches, but he has happily dropped the _henge_ , letting his body heal itself at the rate it always has (fast, so fast, Kurama is a blessing and nobody can tell him otherwise).

When the medic-nin who specializes in complicated deliveries had announced that Naruto had a _boy_ , he’d been too tired to be smug. All of his energy had gone into feeling relieved that the labor was over and exhilarated that he was finally meeting his baby--nothing else had mattered.

But now, with his little boy in his arms, and his body recovering at an unmatched rate, Naruto can relax and _notice_ things.

Like the thick, silver hair sticking up every which way on his little baby’s head, the whisker marks on each cheek just like Naruto’s, and the bright blue eyes that every baby is born with, blinking up at him with a distant, confused curiosity that means he’s not seeing a whole lot, but he’s content to look anyway.

(He should probably let Kakashi know he has a son. Probably. But the jonin had taken a two year mission right after their conversation, so Naruto’s in no hurry to tell him.)

His friends hadn’t been freaked out when he’d finally faced them. A few had been curious about when Naruto got hitched (and when he’d explained that he hadn’t, curious about when and where he’d conceived, to which his only answer was ‘on a mission’).

An hour after he’s moved to a recovery room, Naruto hears a hesitant knock on the door before Sakura pokes her head in. “Everyone’s here to see you,” she says, though there’s a look in her eye that tells him _not exactly everyone_ and _I wasn’t able to contact him_. He’s perhaps a little put off that she tried, because she’s perfectly aware that Naruto’s kind of pissed still, but he can forgive her because she’s practically his sister.

“Bring them in.” He offers a smile. “I feel pretty good.”

She nods and pushes the door open, letting the group of shinobi inside the room that’s probably a little small for all of them. Nobody seems to mind.

“Damn, who would have thought five years ago that the dead last would end up being a badass shinobi _and_ a parent before anyone else even knew it?” Kiba’s grinning as he says it, though, reaching over to ruffle Naruto’s hair. “Feeling okay?”

“Better than I probably look,” he answers with a toothy grin of his own. After some arguing between them, he allows them to pass the infant around (though not before threatening them with murder if they so much as _look_ like they might drop him and carefully informing them the best way to hold him).

“Does he have a name yet?” Hinata asks softly when the baby is placed in her arms.

“Moriko.” He wonders idly if they can hear the sheer joy in his voice, but ultimately decides it doesn’t matter. He’s _happy_ . For the first time in his life, there’s somebody precious and wonderful and irrevocably _his_. His to love and care for without a second thought. His to hold and protect and adore.

And this baby will be _loved_ . _Is loved_.

//

Tsunade comes to see the baby later in the afternoon, after Naruto has had time to really rest and his body is almost fully recovered, after his son has been redressed and cleaned and fed (after he stops wishing that Kakashi’s mission wasn’t such a long one).

Of course, the second she lays eyes on Moriko, she _knows_ Kakashi is his father, permits Naruto to hyphenate their clan names on the birth certificate, and apologizes for attempting to give them time apart.

“You don’t have to apologize, Hokage-sama. Maybe it’s for the best, you know? Maybe our bond is a little too broken to mend without some distance.” He strokes Moriko’s chubby cheek with his thumb. “Besides, even if you did call him back, that doesn’t mean he’d be pleased to return.”

“Don’t you want him to know about Mori-chan?” Tsunade asks, leaning back in the chair beside Naruto’s bed. She steeples her fingers, studying the scene in front of her. “No matter what you might think, he still cares for you a great deal.”

“That doesn’t mean he forgives me, though. I don’t want tension between us to be a burden for Moriko later on. I’m okay with giving him time if that’s what he wants. I’ve done what I can to mend things from my side, and I can only hope that it was enough.”

“Does he know that you love him?”

Naruto gives her a look. “I don’t think he’d truly believe me if I told him that, not right now. But I let him know that he’s precious to me, Tsunade-baa-chan.”

//

Naruto takes her first mission post-pregnancy when Moriko is four months old, leaving her little chubby son under Sakura’s and Shikamaru’s divided care (she would have asked Iruka, but he spends five days a week with children, he doesn’t need the responsibility of caring for a baby on top of all that, even one that seems to learn exceptionally fast for only being a few months old).

(Shikamaru’s amazing with Moriko, though, and Naruto’s pretty pleased with herself for being intuitive enough to see it before everyone else.)

It’s a simple C-rank courier mission to Suna, one that requires minimal effort on paper, but she runs into a missing-nin on Suna’s border and takes the beating of a lifetime--she manages to incapacitate him and tie him up, but she leaves him with Suna’s border patrol so that she doesn’t have to drag him all the way to the hidden village by herself.

She’s sure if Tsunade thought she’d actually face opposition on her way, she’d have at least one other shinobi with her (she’s not even sure if she should be on this mission--she hasn’t retaken the chunin exams, and is therefore still a genin), but at the end of the day, she’s alone and she managed to take out the missing-nin without taking any lethal hits.

That isn’t to say she’s not hurt, but she makes it to Suna before she collapses to her knees from the blood loss.

(She considers herself lucky that the Kazekage happens to be nearby when she reaches the gate, and also happens to be a friend, because his sand catches her as she falls.)

 _Sakura’s going to kill me,_ she thinks while one of Suna’s medic-nin is patching her up.

“You’re a girl,” Gaara notes, watching her from his desk--she’d insisted that she didn’t need to go to the hospital, but he’d only stopped protesting when she proved that Kurama’s chakra was already healing the worst of her injuries.

“Today I am,” she chirps back with a smile. “Sometimes I’m a boy. Just depends on how I’m feeling.”

He simply nods, as if she makes perfect sense, and Naruto fills with affection. “You should rest for the night before you head back. You’re welcome to stay as long as you want, but I’m sure the Hokage will be expecting you?”

“The Hokage and my son as well,” she says, stifling a laugh at the dumbfounded look on his face.

“Your son?”

Naruto nods her thanks to the medic-nin as he collects his things and takes his leave before giving Gaara another smile. “Yes, he’s only about four months old. I was on a mission in the Land of Tea when he was conceived, but I didn't know about my pregnancy until I was already a couple of months along. If you have the chance next time you visit Konoha, I’ll happily introduce you.”

The look on his face makes her chest ache; Gaara’s her friend, but he clearly isn’t used to affection, not even after becoming Kazekage and rectifying his relationship with his siblings, with his village.

Naruto gives him a look that she hopes conveys all of her affection for him (judging by the sheer aching gratitude in his eyes, she assumes that it does). “You know, Gaara-sama, if you ever need anything, all you have to do is ask. Even if it’s just a hug. Okay?” She follows up by actually hugging him, failing to hide her mirth at his complete and utter discomfort.

(When he finally lifts his arms to return the gesture, his hold is steady and firm and unrelenting. It’s one of the best hugs Naruto’s ever received.)

//

He’s at the edge of Fire Country’s borders when he senses another shinobi in the trees. They aren’t far enough away to be attempting to sneak up on him, but aren’t close enough for confrontation, so Naruto’s forced to stop and wait--and it’s then that he realizes there’s only one shinobi he’s ever been able to understand without words, and that’s who’s on his tail right now.

So he sits where he’s been standing, and crosses his arms, fixing a glare onto his face just in time for Sasuke to come into view.

Sasuke pauses, but his careful mask of so many years is gone--instead, Naruto can read the confusion and discomfort and maybe a little apprehension splayed across his face when he comes to a stop. There’s about ten feet between them, not enough to call a distance, but too far to be anything else.

Naruto heaves a sigh, dropping his glare. “Okay, Sasuke-teme, we’re right on the edge of Fire Country and you look like you haven’t slept in days. If you aren’t here to kill me, you should probably get some sleep.”

He says, “I crossed paths with Kakashi. He said something that… threw me off guard.”

“I can only imagine.”

“You took down a trafficking ring all by yourself?”

Naruto pauses halfway down his tree, shooting Sasuke a confused look. “What? No. Kakashi-sensei helped, and we didn’t even have to help relocate the women after we freed them. I mean, I went in by myself, but I knew Tsunade-sama was sending a retrieval team for me.” He crosses his arms. “He didn’t actually tell you I did all the work, did he? Asshole. He’s just grumpy because I kind of inadvertently tricked him.”

“You’re mad that he’s giving you the credit?”

“I’m mad that he’s running away from me, but that’s not the point. He lied to you about it. He was there, he helped defeat the men running it, how the hell is anyone supposed to believe I did all the work?”

Sasuke stares, face blank. “Why is he giving you the credit if he was there?”

Naruto shrugs. “I don’t know. All I know is that Neji brought me the mission scroll, and I let myself get captured so that I could be the bait for the retrieval team, and then that retrieval team ended up being Kakashi-sensei. And when he got there, I led him to the other prisoners and we fought the men who’d taken them.”

“ _You were the bait?!_ ”

Naruto groans.

//

Izumo and Kotetsu eye Naruto warily, looking over her paperwork and doing their best not to glance at the brooding presence behind her at the gates.

“How was your mission, Naruto-chan?” Izumo hedges, marking something on one of the clipboards in front of him.

“I ran into a minor inconvenience at Suna’s border, but the patrol was happy to handle the prisoner and Kazekage-sama was kind enough to lend me a hotel room before sending me back.”

“If it was anything like your _last_ minor inconvenience, you’d better not hide it this time,” Kotetsu grouches, wincing at the sharp elbow he takes to the ribs. “What, it’s not like I’m wrong!”

Izumo waves her through. “Best take him to Hokage-sama before Kotetsu loses any important body parts, Naruto-chan.”

Sasuke is silent and seething as he follows her toward Hokage tower, but Naruto isn’t bothered by his mood. She’s known him long enough that the aura of darkness around him is about as profound as her left shoe.

The ANBU are so used to her that they don’t even bother taking the time to knock or wave her in, they simply step aside when Naruto approaches, and today is no different. Shizune is seated in one of the spare chairs looking over a mission scroll while Tsunade furiously fills out document after document, hardly bothering to lift her head in greeting.

“Kazekage-sama sends his regards and his thanks. The information you sent was immediately looked over. And I also come bearing another gift from Kakashi, though this one is a little grumpy.”

That has both Shizune and Tsunade giving her their full attention.

Tsunade’s eyes narrow.

“Uchiha Sasuke, the deserter. Kakashi sent you?”

He shifts, almost imperceptibly. “We crossed paths and I was… enlightened. He said… that I could be forgiven, even after everything I’ve done, if I was willing to earn it. He tried to tell me once that revenge wouldn’t fill the emptiness in my heart, and this time, I believed him. Because he said he used to be just like me, and the only thing that helped him was finding people to fill that emptiness.” Sasuke’s voice is uncharacteristically thick, but Naruto only links her arm with his when he drops his head in an attempt to compose himself.

“Hokage-sama,” Naruto finally says, “I will gladly take responsibility for Sasuke-teme if you choose to restore his status as a shinobi of Konoha.”

Tsunade gives Naruto a resigned look, waving a hand. “Fine, whatever. I must be getting soft in my old age. You’re lucky I like you, Naruto.”

“You love me and you know it, baa-chan!” she chirps back, grabbing a handful of Sasuke’s shirt and dragging him out the door.

(In hindsight, she’s really surprised that he didn’t even attempt to throw her off.)

“Where are you dragging me, loser?”

“I have to pick up Mori-chan from Shikamaru, and then I should probably get some groceries, and you need a shower so I guess if you _want_ to go back to that depressing and empty compound, have at it. Or you can stay with me and Mori-chan for a few days while you figure some things out.”

Sasuke sighs, letting himself be tugged along, and Naruto grins, calling greetings whenever she sees somebody she knows.

Shikamaru is exactly where he told her he’d be at this time of day--relaxing in an empty training ground with Moriko napping on his chest while he watches the clouds. He doesn’t look away from the sky until she crouches down beside him, and then he surrenders Moriko to her without complaint. “Mission went well?”

She bounces her son on her hip, ignoring Sasuke’s dumbfounded silence in favor of giving Shikamaru a smile. “As well as can be expected. Dealt with a missing-nin outside Suna’s borders, but I made it to Suna before the blood loss really got to me.”

She supposes she can’t _really_ blame Shikamaru’s exasperation for her lack of concern.

//

 **You should really take a moment to think about the words from your scarecrow to that Uchiha,** Kurama reminds him, looking disinterested (though his words suggest otherwise).

_I’m really trying not to._

One red eye cracks open to stare at him. **Oh? So you don’t want to think about the message he might have been giving, sending Sasuke to you with words of forgiveness and filling the emptiness in his heart? You don’t want to think about the implications of the scarecrow being two steps shy of a deserter?**

Naruto leans a little more comfortably against Kurama’s side, mind drifting to the last time he saw Kakashi, to the delicate brush of fingers over his cheek and the aching silence in his following absence.

_Do you think he forgives me?_

Kurama’s eye slides shut. **I suppose you won’t know until you see him again, but I think perhaps he wants to.**

There’s a chance, is what he means, and Naruto’s willing to grasp that chance with both hands. He hopes it’s enough to earn that forgiveness.

//

“Kaa-chan!”

Naruto catches the energetic bundle of toddler that comes barreling at him full-force, spinning in a circle to channel his son’s momentum. Moriko’s a little over two years, and though Naruto’s pretty smart, Moriko has almost certainly inherited his father’s intelligence. He may not speak in fully eloquent sentences yet, but he’s learning rapidly enough that it won’t be long.

“Welcome home! Missed you, missed you!”

Naruto nuzzles his fluffy hair, softer than it has any right to be, and balances his son on his hip. “I missed you too, Mori-chan. Were you good for Sakura?”

Moriko squeals when Naruto tickles his sides, attempting to squirm away from the relentless fingers. “I was good! I was good, kaa-chan!” He breaks down into giggles, tucking his face against Naruto’s neck, while he gasps for breath, and Naruto adjusts his hold on the toddler, dropping a kiss onto his forehead (Moriko returns it with a big wet kiss to Naruto’s cheek).

Sakura pokes her head out of Naruto’s bathroom and shoots him a smile. “Hey, how was your mission? Did you already give your report to Shishou?”

“Nah, not yet, I really wanted to see this little munchkin, and I figured you were ready for a break. I was just gonna take him with me, you’re welcome to tag along if you want.”

The panther ANBU nods to Naruto when they reach Tsunade-sama’s office, knocking twice before pushing the door open (Naruto says nothing when Neji ruffles Moriko’s hair on their way through, but he thinks it’s a sweet gesture regardless).

He’s not sure how giving his report turned into a new mission placing Naruto in the Hokage’s seat while she attends a Summit taking place in Suna (he’s pretty sure that she’s supposed to leave one of her commanders or advisors in charge, not somebody who only _just_ made chunin during the last exams). Her reasoning is hard to argue, though--with the Akatsuki members scattered to the winds and the strange air of _foreboding_ that seems to hang over everything since the attack on the east wall, Tsunade trusts Naruto to protect Konoha and her people should the need arise, and he isn’t about to let her down.

Which means that two days after returning to Konoha, Naruto is seated behind Tsunade’s desk filling out paperwork and listening to Shikamaru complain about having to be out of bed at six o’clock in the morning, all the while Moriko entertains himself by scaling the bookshelves.

But the day passes fairly quickly, as does the next. The third day drags, for some reason (he blames the lack of paperwork to keep him busy--Tsunade really drags her ass about finishing that stuff, it didn't take him long at all!). He has to write up a few mission scrolls just to entertain himself (Panther even huffs a laugh when Naruto hands him a mission to take to Sakura), and nearly cries in relief when it’s time to join the Mission Assignment desk.

But he doesn’t get to pester Iruka all day. After collecting Moriko from the Day Care and picking up dinner, Naruto resigns himself to writing out a few scenarios that have been knocking around in the back of his mind, and he’s thoroughly distracted by the time Moriko falls asleep in his lap, only half aware that he’s running the fingers of his left hand through his son’s hair.

He doesn’t look up when the door opens--there were a few missions coming to an end throughout the day, so this _should_ be the last report he has to take note of.

“Welcome back, jonin-san. Report?”

He’s met with silence.

“Oi, I haven’t got all night.”

“Did I miss your appointment ceremony?”

He nearly chokes on his own tongue, only manages _not_ to because he’s a _ninja_ and they _don’t_ _do scared_. “Kakashi,” he breathes. “I, uh… No, I’m just filling in while Tsunade-sama’s at the summit.” He clears his throat. “Report first?”

After Kakashi gives his report, he shifts. “Do you mind if I… keep you company?”

Naruto hums. “Not at all. Panther, you can take off if you’d like.”

“Thank you, Naruto-sama.”

Naruto groans at Neji’s receding shadow, frowning at the place he’d been stationed despite the distinct lack of ANBU. “I swear, he gets cheekier every year.” He meets Kakashi’s gaze, patiently waiting for whatever it is his ex-sensei has to say.

“You made chunin?”

“During the last exams,” he answers. “I might have sooner, but I was a little preoccupied.”

“And… the child?”

Naruto grins, glancing down at his lap. It only occurs to him after a moment that Kakashi doesn’t have any view of the toddler from his side of the desk. “He’s something, alright. I’d introduce you right now, but if I wake him up, he’ll be an unholy terror for another two hours. He may be a genius, but he’s also incredibly rotten. It doesn’t help that literally _everyone_ spoils him.” He looks back up to meet Kakashi’s eye.

“Genius?”

Naruto hides a smile. “Yeah, he takes after you in that regard.”

A cough. “That’s not funny, don’t tease me.”

Instead of deigning to respond with mere words, Naruto stands with Moriko in his arms and leans over the desk to settle him in Kakashi’s lap. The response is immediate, if almost silent, but it’s enough--there’s no doubt now.

“Isn’t he perfect?” he asks, voice soft. He watches Kakashi nod.

“Yeah he is.”

//

Naruto rolls over in bed, stretching her arms out above her head. It’s early, not quite dawn but too light outside to be anything else, and the village outside is quiet except for the drumming of the rain against the window panes, and the soft rolling of the thunder from a storm that hasn’t quite hit yet.

An arm slides over her waist, tugging her across the bed, back into the warmth of her husband’s grasp. “Why do you insist on waking up so _early_? Every day. You do this to me every single day.”

She smiles, leaning up to press a kiss to soft lips. “Just because _you_ like laying around until you absolutely have to get up doesn’t mean _everybody_ likes to.”

“Normal people do,” he grumbles, tucking his face against her neck. He’s half on top of her, now, curling around as if it will keep her in bed, and for once, she lets him get away with it. After all, it’s her day off, and Moriko stayed at a friend’s house last night.

Three months after their reunion, Kakashi had asked Naruto if they could try to have an actual relationship, and six months later they got married. And she’s _happy_ . That isn’t to say that everything is always good, or that they never disagree on anything, but when she thinks back to how it all began, Naruto can’t truthfully say that things _aren’t_ perfect.

After all, she loves her husband, and he loves her, too.

“Kakashi,” she hums against his temple. He sighs in response. “Thank you.”

Calloused hands slip underneath her back, sliding up her borrowed shirt. “Don’t thank me, Naruto.”

It’s an old argument, and after five years together, she doesn’t bother fighting him on it.

“I love you,” she tells him instead, and he tightens his hold on her, pressing kisses to the bared skin of her shoulder where his shirt has slipped off of her.

 _I love you_ , he mouths against her skin, and they fall back to sleep as the storm rolls in.

 _Yeah,_ she thinks distantly, _perfect._


End file.
